Bob Sagat Sucks

You know what I’m sick of? People who say shouldn’t judge Bob Sagat by his performances in Full House and America’s Funniest Home Videos, you just have to see him do standup where he can tell dirty jokes.

No, I’ve seen Sagat’s standup, long before the Olsen twins were even conceived. He sucks. A bad comic who goes blue is still a bad comic.

Happy New Year

2014 was the year I torched my so-called career in civil service. They gave me the choice of giving up teaching at HACC or giving up occupying a cubicle and being abused day after day. It was a tough call. I could either teach, which I love doing, or stay with Commonwealth where I wasn’t accomplishing anything, but I have those great benefits that they keep cutting year after year.

I learned one thing in 2014. Life is far too short to waste it not doing something you enjoy. Earlier this year, I was at the carousel in Hersheypark. When the ride came to a stop, I heard a prerecorded message that said, “Sorry, there are no rerides.”

Day after day, I sat in that cubicle thinking about what I could be doing with my time that was far more worthwhile. Our time is the only thing we truly own and we only get a certain amount. When it’s gone, it’s gone. There are no rerides. If you hate what you’re doing, then get up and do something else. Don’t wait for retirement or for some opportunity that may never come. Make your own opportunities.

In less than three weeks, I’ll be teaching five, possibly six classes at HACC. It’s what I’ve wanted to do for a long time. The price is that I’ll be paying for my own health insurance. It’s totally worth it.

Make 2015 the year you create your own opportunities and chase your passions. Because there are no rerides.

A few thoughts about the Hobbit: We Took the Back End of a Kids Novel and Turned It Into a 2.5 Hour Movie:

  • Doesn’t the addition of giant bat army make it really the Battle of Six Armies? 1. The Dwarves; 2. The Elves; 3. The People of Laketown; 4. The Orcs; 5. The Giant Eagles; and 6. The Bats.
  • So, they have this huge pile of treasure and massive armory under the mountain, but only one Mithral vest that no blade can pierce? Might have helped Thoren in the final battle if he’d spent less time looking for the Arkenstone and more looking for another Mithral vest.
  • Seriously, where the hell did the giant bats come from?
  • A giant eagle paratroopers a giant bear into the fight: Awesome.
  • Legolas continued his career as a CGI character immune to the laws of physics, not to mention time and space.
  • Speaking of Legolas, wasn’t great that after six movies, five of which he seemed to have an unlimited supply of arrows, that he could actually run out?
  • Giant bats bred for war? Really?
  • Bard wins Dad of the Year for using his son as a makeshift ballista.
  • Was there any point at all in introducing the Town Master other than so we could cheer when he went down?
  • Giant war bats?
  • If you were thinking of something to cut for time, I’d suggest the five-minute sequence after the battle where Gandalf just sits next to Bilbo toking up.
  • What is with Peter Jackson and giving the big bad ridiculously unwieldy weapons? First we had the Witch King swinging around a two-ton flail at the Battle of Gondor and now we have the White Orc thinking a big rock on a chain is a good weapon to use on a frozen river.
  • Is there a severe horse shortage in Middle Earth? We had characters riding giant hyenas, rams, pigs, and a  huge elk, not mention a sleigh pulled by rabbits. I think there were only two horses in the entire movie.